Damn Rich Bastards
by The Weirdest Sister
Summary: Whenever the Host Club flaunts their wealth or spends too much money, only one thing goes through Haruhi's mind: Damn rich bastards. Drabble/Oneshot series. [Chapter 6: Vacation Time.]
1. Home Invasion

**Author's Note:**

This is my first attempt at OHSHC fiction, apologies in advance for OOC-ness, I'm still getting to know these characters!

This will be a drabble/oneshot series, I guess. I just think Haruhi must be face-palming her head off being surrounded by these Host Club guys, and I'm putting her in situations that portray that. Some of the stories are based on the ones from the anime/manga and some are made up.

Prompts are welcome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

And as always, reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Damn Rich Bastards**

**1. Home Invasion**

_What to make for dinner..._

Clutching four grocery bags tightly, Haruhi walked idly down the road that led to her apartment. The supermarket nearby was having a sale on all food items: "Super Sale: Everything must go! Reduced price! Consider it theft!" She had bought enough to last the whole week.

Her father would be arriving home early today and he was always hungry after a shift at the okama bar he worked at. Maybe some dumplings? There was rice and noodles as well, and vegetables or meat, or both?

As she neared the end of the road, Haruhi saw a large crowd of people swarming around one building.

_What is going on?_

Adjusting her grip on the bags, Haruhi craned her neck to get a better look. There was Ayako-san who lived a few apartments away from hers, talking to his wife is loud whispers. Yumi-san, the landlady of her building, was also there, talking loudly to her downstairs tenant Megumi-san. The nosy, elderly woman was always found in the vicinity whenever something vaguely interesting happened.

Snippets of conversations reached her ears as she made her way to her building, the very building people were crowded around.

"Did you see the cars?"

"Do you think they're from the Yakuza?"

"The don't look like it, they look like movie stars!"

"Okaa-san, who are they? What are they doing here?"

What were they doing here, indeed. The very presence of these _people_ was disrupting her plans for the day. Her nice, quiet Sunday afternoon was slowly disappearing. Haruhi absently wondered who in her building even _knew_ people that were mistaken for movie stars or the mafia and had fancy cars and all the time to waste.

She pushed through the crowd, awkwardly reaching for her keys while keeping a hold on her groceries. "Sumimasen Ayako-san, I need to get past. Ariga-"

The words dried in her throat and the bags almost slipped out of her hands when she finally saw what was causing the commotion.

_No._

Two black, luxury cars stood by the curb in front of the entrance of her apartment complex with black suited drivers in dark sunglasses standing to attention by the passenger doors. The sunlight gleamed against the polished bonnets and silver logos of each car. Standing on the other side, peering up at the building were six boys, dressed casually but still stylish enough to create a ruckus. One blonde boy was in the process of lecturing the others and being ignored.

_Why me?_

Haruhi began to back away. Maybe she could escape and if they didn't see her, if they thought she wasn't at home, they would leave. The path she had created to get to the front had vanished and all she could do was bump into Ayako-san again and stare at the Host Club with resigned horror.

_She_ was the one who knew people that were mistaken for movie stars or the mafia and had fancy cars and all the time to waste.

Haruhi quickly turned and began to burrow desperately through her neighbours but a loud, annoying voice stopped her.

"Haruhi!"

"Tamaki-senpai. What are you do-"

"Daddy has come to see his daughter's home! We wanted to surprise you, are you surprised?"

"Yes. I definitely am," said Haruhi dully.

Tamaki continued as if he hadn't heard her. "Your home pretty big isn't it? You must be pretty rich for a commoner. And look at all these people, do you know them?"

Her landlady sidled up to her and whispered loudly: "Haruhi, is he bothering you?"

_Yes, yes he is. _"No, Yumi-san, everything is fine. They're... friends. From school."

Looking beyond him, she saw the rest of the Host Club. Hikaru and Kaoru were grinning mischievously at her, Kyoya was looking up at her building with a contemplative expression, and a smiling Honey was talking quietly to a stoic Mori whilst sitting on his shoulders.

She looked back at Tamaki, who was still talking.

"See Haruhi, we even came in the smallest cars we have, so as to better blend in with the commoners. That was my idea, are you proud of daddy? Oh, are you going to make dinner for us?"

Haruhi somehow resisted both the urge to bury her face in her hands and groan loudly and the urge to thump the blonde on the head.

_Damn rich bastards._


	2. Music Room Three

**Author's Note:**

Prompts are welcome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

And as always, reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Damn Rich Bastards**

**2. Music Room Three**

Haruhi opened the door to Music Room Three and froze in the doorway, her eyes wide and her jaw slack.

_Damn rich bastards._


	3. The Host Club And Ramen

**Author's Note:**

Prompts are welcome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

And as always, reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Damn Rich Bastards**

**3. The Host Club And Ramen**

The lunch room was full, but not in the way Haruhi remembered her middle school lunch room to be. There were no loud shouts, no happy chattering and no rushed eating on rectangular metal tables. Instead, there were round tables with delicate tablecloths and plush chairs, waiters pushing carts of appetizers and gourmet meals.

Standing in the doorway, Haruhi felt she was about to enter another world. She sighed, her shoulders slumping in resignation. Anything associated with Ouran Academy would be otherworldly and strange, she should have known that by now.

_I hate all these rich people._

Moving to the meal counter, Haruhi simply asked for a bowl of boiling water and turned around to face the seating hall, only to meet two grinning redheads standing right in front of her. One arm snaked around her waist and another around her shoulders.

"Haruhi," crooned both Hikaru and Kaoru in unison. "Come sit with us."

At the table she was whisked to sat the rest of the Host Club, all eyeing her with surprise. All of a sudden, Haruhi saw a blur of blonde rushing at her and hastily set down her bowl of water before being tackled into a crushing hug.

"My daughter came to eat with her daddy! I'm so happy, Haruhi is so nice to me, the bes-"

"Senpai, cut it out!" Haruhi struggled out of Tamaki's death grip and stumbled into her seat, not even looking up to see the Host Club King sink woefully into his chair a few seats away from her, muttering about mean daughters.

Honey paused in his cake eating to greet her. "Welcome Haru-chan, I'm happy you came to eat with us." Mori nodded from his seat next to the short senior.

"Haruhi," said Hikaru from her right, his chin cupped in his right hand. "Why do you just have a bowl of water?"

"Yeah," said Kaoru from her left, his chin cupped in his left hand. "I thought commoners could _at least _afford _some_ food."

"What! Haruhi is going hungry? She has no money to buy food? Her father must be in debt to someone powerful from the okama bar, and now my daughter has to suffer!" Tamaki stood up proudly. "Don't worry Haruhi, daddy will buy you lunch, _everyday_."

Haruhi stared at Tamaki, rolled her eyes and in a dry tone, said, "Shut up senpai." She pulled out a white packet from her school bag and held it up for the others to see. "I'm having ramen today. All I need is water to make it."

Her shoulders slumped again at the blank looks she received.

_Right, I forgot. Rich people._

Without a word, she tore open the packet, held up the dry noodles, put it in the water, added the flavouring and sauces and then covered the bowl with a plate. Looking up, she saw six pairs of eyes lift from the bowl to her face, still blank. After a few more minutes of quiet sitting - _maybe I should bring more things like this, they all seem to shut up... - _Haruhi then lifted the plate, and with her chopsticks, gave the now cooked noodles a stir. "Ramen." She looked at the rest of the Host Club and put some in her mouth. "I'sh goodh."

The twins immediately began to attack her bowl with their own chopsticks, "Let us try, let us try!" while Tamaki hovered behind her trying to get a proper look at the noodles, "All _that_ came from that one packet? Ingenious, commoners never cease to amaze me."

"It looks rather unhealthy," said Kyoya. He was eyeing the bowl curiously though, with his black notebook open in front of him.

"It's okay Kyo-chan, Haru-chan seems to like it. Besides, you all keep saying my cakes are unhealthy, but I'm just fine", said Honey happily, another slice of cake in front of him. Mori simply nodded once more.

"Can you get some more, Haruhi?" asked Hikaru. "We could have a ramen day tomorrow?"

"Yes!" Haruhi flinched at the sudden outburst from behind her. "As Host Club King, I proclaim tomorrow to be Ramen Day, and, if this ramen proves to be as convenient and addictive as instant coffee, then let ramen be the official food of the Host Club!" Tamaki waved his hand and ended with a flourish.

Haruhi groaned silently.

"Speaking of instant coffee, we seem to have run out," said Kyoya. "Haruhi, do you mind picking some more up?" He was looking at her with a Host smile. "It would be best to buy the ramen as well, a month's supply should do, don't you think?" He scribbled something in his notebook and nodded. "The Host Club will pay, of course, since you don't have enough, given your common status and your debt."

_Ah, the debt._

"Of course, Kyoya-senpai," she said through gritted teeth.

_Damn rich bastards._


	4. Haruhi Versus Ootoro

**Author's Note:**

Prompts are welcome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

And as always, reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Damn Rich Bastards**

**4. Haruhi Versus Ootoro**

"No."

"Haru-chan, please?"

"Honey-senpai, don't give me those eyes. My answer is still no."

"Haruhi, come on!"

"Hikaru, Kaoru, get off me. You both are out of your minds if you think I'm-"

"Get off her you devil twins! Haruhi, my darling daughter, do it for daddy?"

"No way in hell senpai."

"Ootoro."

"Wh-what?"

"You heard what Mori-senpai said, Haruhi."

"Kyoya-senpai, if you think you can buy me off with food, then you-"

"Who said anything about buying you off with food. The Host Club is simply importing several shipments of high grade ootoro, and coincidently, they are due to arrive soon. In fact, the very same day as our little event. How convenient."

"That's a little _too_ convenient, Kyoya-senpai, I know what you're doing... How much ootoro did you say?"

"More than we like Haruhi. We don't even like ootoro that much, so much would go to waste. But we know _you _like it, right? Our event is in the morning, the shipment arrives in the evening. All that ootoro. Maybe I should call and tell them to halve the shipment, we don't need that much..."

"Fine..."

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said fine! I'll do it. You just make sure that damn ootoro is here by the time I'm done."

Haruhi leveled a defeated glare at the Host Club with her shoulders slumped, the Host Club gazed at Kyoya with awe and a little bit of fear, and Kyoya simply smirked.

_Damn rich bastards._


	5. Future Plans

**Author's Note:**

Prompts are welcome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

And as always, reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Damn Rich Bastards**

**5. Future Plans**

"Haruhi, you're late! Where have you been?"

Closing the door behind her, Haruhi slumped against it, catching her breath. Books were piled high in her arms, the top most threatening to topple to the ground.

"Sorry Tamaki-senpai, I was at the library."

"Again?" chimed two voices in unison. The books were taken from her hands and her bag was pulled from her shoulders. She felt arms wrap around her waist and propel her towards an unoccupied couch. Craning her neck back, she tried to catch a glimpse of her belongings. She couldn't find them anywhere.

_Where did they put my things?_

"Sit Haruhi," said Hikaru. He pushed her down onto the couch and sat on her right.

"You work too hard, have some cake," said Kaoru from her left. A plate had been placed in front of her and both brothers were now aiming forks laden with cake at her mouth.

"You devil twins! Stop bothering my daughter!"

With a groan, Haruhi sunk further into the couch to avoid both the two forkfuls of cake and the shrill voice of an enraged Host Club King. The forks, which were gaining speed, sailed right over her head and into Tamaki's face. At the same time Tamaki had pulled rather hard on the twins' ears, pulling them away from Haruhi. Yelps of pain and surprise and a cry for help were all that was heard.

_Mother in Heaven, why me?_

Another pair of hands gripped her waist, and this time, the hold was firm and safe. With a pull, she found herself dangling a short distance above the ground next to the couch, staring up at an impassive face.

"Uh.. thank you Mori-sempai." He was holding her with arms outstretched. "You can put me down now."

The tall senior simply nodded and set her on her feet, only to have his older cousin tug her towards a side table piled high with deserts.

"Kao-chan and Hika-chan are right, Haru-chan. You need to eat more cake!" The blonde boy grinned up at her, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he pushed her into a chair at the table. "Pick anything you want, and maybe Usa-chan will play with you afterwards!"

"Honey-sempai, I really don't-"

"Please stop being late to Host Club meetings Haruhi," said a cool voice from behind her. Turning her head slowly, Haruhi saw Kyoya leaning forwards on both palms against the back of one of the couches, a black folder held under one hand and his dark gaze eyeing her critically.

"Every time you're late, we can't start. If we can't start, we lose customers, meaning fewer customers for you to host." Haruhi felt her eye twitch in annoyance; how could someone be so condescending and amused at the same time.

"You're debt won't pay itself, Haruhi." He smirked, nudged his glasses up his nose and pushed away from the couch.

"I had to study! And I'm hardly late, none of you are ready. If I don't study, I fail. If I fail, I can't study here. If I can't study here, no more Host Club. No more Host Club, no more hosting. So, if you don't let me study, I can't pay that stupid debt!" Haruhi's voice had grown louder towards the end of her tirade, and it hadn't escaped her notice that she had unconsciously mirrored Kyoya. By the widening of his smirk, it hadn't escaped his notice either.

"Haruhi cannot leave!" Her shoulders slumped in exasperation and she leaned against the cushioned chair back. With a now cake free face, Tamaki rushed to stand in front of her, fists clenched and expression indignant. "Men, we must help her. Kyoya, you can tutor her! Kaoru, Hikaru, do half her homework! Mori-sempai, carry all her books! And Honey-sempai, cake breaks every half hour! And I-"

Haruhi reached over and whacked the blonde King on the back of his head. "I can do my own homework, carry my own books and I don't need a tutor or cake. I just need time to study."

Defeated, Tamaki fled to a corner of the room with a wail.

"Why _do_ you study so much Haru-chan? I'm sure a few cake breaks won't matter."

"Because Honey-senpai, I have a goal here. To become a lawyer. And I need to study to become one." Haruhi looked at each of the boys, now a little suspicious. "I know you guys are at the top of your respective years, but I rarely see you study. _Why _is that?"

Now perched together on the couch, the twins piped up.

"Two words. Natural talent," boasted Hikaru.

Haruhi barely suppressed a snort.

"Four more words. Heirs to family businesses," added Kaoru with the same smug smile. The smile soon disappeared quickly at the sound of a pencil snapping. Everyone looked at Kyoya, who was staring resolutely at his notebook.

Kaoru laughed nervously. "Lets make that two words. Family businesses, yeah. Just, family businesses."

"What those two idiots are trying and failing to say Haruhi, is that the members of this Host Club come from affluent and influential families. Just look at any of our names, and you'll see extensive business dealings. And these businesses are family owned. So while you may have to work extremely hard to keep your scholarship, we don't really have to. Reputation and the rewards of success are good motivators though."

As he spoke, Kyoya's stony glare slowly eased into a half amused, half annoyed expression. Haruhi's eye began to twitch again.

_They don't study, they don't even have to study and their futures are pretty much secure, so they spend all their time bothering me. Of course._

Haruhi slowly turned back to the table of cakes. With a deadpan stare and almost mechanical movements, she pulled a plate and a fork closer to her.

"I think I'll have some cake now," she said dully.

_Damn rich bastards._


	6. Vacation Time

**Author's Note:**

Prompts are welcome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

And as always, reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Damn Rich Bastards**

**6. Vacation Time**

"Quiet everyone! This Host Club meeting is now in session. We have a matter of utmost importance and urgency to discuss," announced Tamaki, standing tall and speaking loudly from the front of the room. The rest of the Host Club were gathered around him, seated on chairs and couches.

"Vacation destinations!" he exclaimed with a flourish. "Men. Haruhi. Where shall we go? We have a two week break coming up."

Immediately, chatter broke out from Honey, Hikaru and Kaoru, with Mori nodding along every now and then. Kyoya and Haruhi simply stared at the blonde Host Club King.

_Is he for real? Has he forgotten that we have tests before the break to get through first?_

A throat was cleared from next to her.

"Tamaki?" Haruhi turned to see Kyoya eyeing his best friend in exasperation. "Have you forgotten that we have tests before the break to get through first? Maybe we should talk about this afterwards."

_That's what I thought!_

"Nonsense, Kyoya! We need time to prepare, we have so much to do! Destination, accommodation, budget planning, activities organization-"

"But Tamaki-senpai," interrupted Haruhi. "Don't you get other people to do most of that? Really, all you guys would do is pick where we go."

Tamaki's shoulders instantly drooped. "Why must daughter be so mean to daddy?" His voice was a whiny mutter.

Kyoya cleared his throat again. "Tamaki, you were saying?" he asked dryly.

"Yes!" He thrust his fist into his palm and nodded. "Destinations. Ideas."

Haruhi settled back in her chair. Maybe they would go to the beach, or maybe even Karuizawa. A trip to Tokyo could be fun; she had been there on a middle school class trip and there were some things she wouldn't mind seeing again.

"The villa in Spain?" offered Kaoru.

_What?_

"We also have one along the French Riviera," added Hikaru.

"And my family owns a resort in Fiji," said Tamaki.

_Seriously?_

"I've got places in Vietnam and Thailand," chimed Honey. "What about you Takashi?"

"Ah, Nepal," answered the stoic senior.

"I'd offer the Ootori hotel suites in New York but my brothers will be using them at the same time," said Kyoya.

_Why am I even surprised anymore?_

Tamaki frowned. "All good choices. Hmm... Haruhi! You pick!"

The blonde boy turned to fix her with an overly enthusiastic smile. The rest of the Host Club looking at her as well.

"Uh... how about somewhere in Japan?" Her cheeks began to feel warm and she shrugged self-consciously. "I don't have-"

"Of course! How could daddy forget. Poor Haruhi doesn't have money! Commoners can't afford such trips, but never fear. I will pay for everything that you nee-"

"Passport," said Haruhi through gritted teeth and an irritated glare. "I don't have a passport."

"That's easily obtained, Haruhi," said Kyoya from her right, a small smirk playing on his lips. "But money is still an issue, for a commoner in debt, right?"

Tamaki stood tall once more. "New topic, men! How to fund Haruhi's trip. Kyoya, you get the passport. Hikaru, Kaoru, new wardrobe. Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai, transport, while I cover anything else. And Haruhi, you just pick where we go!"

The others nodded and once more looked towards Haruhi.

Haruhi sunk in her chair with her face buried in her palms.

_Damn rich bastards._


End file.
